The Day Before


Allow me to provide this week’s soundtrack, a special guest mix by our old party pal, who just happened to ALWAYS spin my party favs. Huge shout out to Gloria Ansell, for stepping in, guest mixing Gillham Radio! x
-Follow Gloria on Facebook ... and Insta @djgloriaansell

So other than mother’s day, last I left you, I was escaping from hospital. Well not literally, but I was anticipating my release.

..I was in fact released from hospital that Friday afternoon. Which was ace, because I got to celebrate The Vogue’s Re-Opening and my release at the same time!

It truly was a fantastic night! The Random Night family are incredible musicians, if you’ve not yet heard them play, you really are missing out. They made mention there maybe plans to play somewhat regularly, at the very least, this was not their last show and they will be back. You won’t want to miss it!

Speaking of missing things. If you missed my opportunity to support these guys, you can catch my DJ set here. Let’s just say I was the half time show, and we’ll leave it at that. It was an honour to support the band and perform at such an amazing venue!

So, a wise person once told me I should be LIVING my life, instead of living my life on facebook etc. I get what they are saying, and I’ve somewhat digested that pill. You’ve no doubt noticed I have been quieter on the blog side. Well, I’ve been trying to JUST enjoy moments, instead of enjoying moments then posing again where the moment happened for a photo etc. So yeah, I am sure you all understand and if you follow me anywhere else, whether that be instagram, snapchat, twitter and of course facebook (where this all began)... You’ll know, you’ll find me somewhere hashtagging or checking in.

Traditionally, if I have busy days, I end up paying for it. I don’t have anywhere near the physical energy I used to or the endurance. Soo if I’m running steady for a day, I tend to pay physically and sometimes mentally for it the next day or so. Going straight from Hospital, then to the stage the following day is a fine example. I paid for my partying.

The last few days I’ve been here there and everywhere for no particular reason, just busy. I almost make myself busy so my mind doesn’t wonder elsewhere. Part of which is trying to find a new supplier for the merchandise I am designing for a bit of fun and a small way to support my family financially. At the moment my supplier is in the USA, and everyone including my neighbour has to pay for shipping. I’d like to start using a local provider, also design some products that is appealing to markets I know the most, Miramichi and Melbourne. My goal is to support local, get prices down including shipping and pass those discounts onto you, my kind, generous, loyal supporters. No offence to anyone in the States, but I am sure you would help out your local community too, given the opportunity. So that said, the lads down at River Signs in Miramichi are crunching numbers and hopefully we’ll have some sweet deals for you very soon!

Yesterday I had the opportunity to share my story with Brent Roy the Director of Public Affairs for Horizon Health ( Horizon Health Network is basically anything medical including Hospitals in Atlantic Canada - feel free anyone to correct me if I am wrong ). Anyway people, you have to read Brent’s article when it comes out next week! Brent was incredibly thorough, and spoke to many of my doctors and nurses including my Oncologist. I’ve been privy to a draft and its shaping up to be a great read, if I do say so myself.

Monday night, I attended a church service at The Point Church, where my family regularly attend on a Sunday. My Monday nights are usually occupied with other things, but I had been invited personally to come along, so I did. I’ve embraced other culture’s like the Mi'kmaq culture of smudging and sweat lodges. I figured I better support my own religion, which I guess would be Christianity. I’m not one for labelling, so I don’t like labelling myself as a Christian. I simply try to treat others as I would be like to be treated. I grew up in the church and when I was 15 I took part in what they call a Baptism (Baptist Church), to which essentially your telling the world publicly you believe that JC is your lord and saviour. Now, I’m not here to bible thump, nor would I want to force my beliefs onto you, I simply just want to share with you my experience I had Monday night. You can take what you want from it.

Monday night, I’d already got into my comfy clothes and was prepping myself for a low key night. I had totally forgotten I had accepted an invitation to come to church that night. So it could of been very easy to stay comfy, but I threw something respectable on and raced out the door. Now, I had no expectations of the church service, I was neutral, nor was I seeking anything...However I found the entire service very powerful, very relevant, so much so, it felt like the evening had been planned for me… Which in reality, was not. It just seemed that way. I was emotional, I was in tears for most of the service. The music was spot on, and honestly I have no way of explaining it to you. So I am just going to tell you the best I can. During the service, Kevin Matthews the lead pastor anointed me with oil, and together with other church leaders prayed for me. I’d never done anything like that before, nor had I seen it happen. Also, never before had I thought much of “why me” or any reasoning behind all this, and I am no clearer either. However, that night I had a strong feeling..

...this Cancer, is just a speed bump, a bump in the road, whether I win the race or not, what I am going through is for a bigger purpose...

What that purpose is, I don’t know. But I am not scared and I am ready for whatever may come. Good or Bad. I just hope I achieve the bigger purpose, whatever that may be.

So I’ve been busy with “stuff” the last few days, and today was the crash. For whatever reason, I crashed hard. In my mind, I thought I’m off the chemo this shouldn't be happening. But sure enough, I was on the bathroom floor in pain today. I felt like someone had booted me up the arse with steel capped boots, with the pain sharper at the base of my spine. The only explanation I’ve had for this pain which I’ve made my doctors aware of before, is the possibility that the tumour up my arse is hitting some nerves down there. Which I’m telling you, is not fun.

With the help of some meds, conventional and unconventional I was able to face the day, well it ended up being the afternoon, but I got going... Who keeps everything together when I’m down like this? My unsung hero, my wife. So lovely wife, if you’re reading this, know that I am truly grateful for you not only putting up with me, but keeping the Gillham household going.

Today Wednesday May 15 is what I am titling ‘the day before’. Tomorrow, I have a meeting with a new surgeon, who my Oncologist referred me to. Last time we spoke to my Oncologist, he seemed more concerned about my Liver. Anyway plans change, apparently the doctors have had several meetings to try and hash out a plan of attack. We’ve since learnt they are more concerned about my Colorectal Cancer at the moment. Tomorrow we may find out what the plan is. To be honest, maybe it’s because it is not anyone I have met before, I’m a little nervous to find out what they are going to tell me. I’ll leave it at that, and we’ll continue when I am more informed.

THANKS for reading, THANKS for your support, BIG LOVE to you all!

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